((Listen to this while you read, it makes it much easier to understand: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3QmD3BY7RU ))

—-

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow as the garish music began to play. Jim had naturally insisted on using a record player, ironically the consulting criminal, master of disguise, liked his music to be authentic. He had only agreed to this because some small part of him wanted to see Jim dance, something that wasn’t part of a disguise. He wanted to see Jim dance, not Jim from IT or Jo the Clubber.

Jim stepped over, dressed immaculately as per usual. He’d forced Sebastian into a suit too and the sniper gave him a wary smile. Jim returned it, though to Sebastian it seemed like more of a ‘step on my shoes and I will murder you’ smile than an ‘I enjoy spending time with you’ smile.

Sebastian placed his arms in the position Jim had explained earlier, and began to dance shakily as the lyrics began. He almost laughed and Jim’s smile turned to a gleeful smirk.

“It seemed appropriate,” he remarked, stepping his feet and not bothering to go slowly for Sebastian as the lyrics urged them to ‘misbehave’. The sniper had a suspicion that if this foxtrot went well then they would indeed be ‘misbehaving’ later that evening.

After nearly twenty plays of the song, Sebastian finally managed to match Jim’s confident steps, though he didn’t go quite as exaggerated with his hips movements. He wouldn’t be surprised if Jim had taught himself to foxtrot in a mere ten minutes for some obscure job, but the shorter man seemed to enjoy it. He beamed up at Sebastian smugly and the sniper couldn’t help but feel a strong twinge of nostalgia, something that made him want to drink whiskey shots, take Jim in his arms and kiss him softly for once.

He shook his head at the idea, thinking himself ridiculous for feeling nostalgic of a time period he hadn’t even lived in.

They finished their final dance an hour later, and Jim dragged him off to the bedroom. For one rare occasion, Sebastian actually preferred the warmth of Jim resting against his chest afterwards. He gazed almost lovingly down at the smaller man, petting his hair lazily and lying back, his eyes open as the garish song played on loop in his mind.

—-

((Hope you liked it, sorry again for the long hiatus!))

“Come on, Seb, hurry it up,” the shorter man groaned. He’d moved from his position of being draped over Sebastian’s shoulders and was now perching on the desk, tapping his foot against it impatiently and making the computer jolt.

“It says I need to take my time to answer the questions, Jim,” Sebastian insisted, “I can’t pick between the mysterious statue and the talking mushrooms.” Jim snorted at him, reaching out and picking his answer for him.

“There, you’ve picked that one, hurry it up, Seb. You’ll end up in Slytherin with me, obviously, and I need to get a move on and get more house points by duelling. I want to be top of the table,” he replied, fidgeting and ignoring Sebastian’s roll of his eyes as he jumped off of the desk again and paced impatiently behind the sniper.

A few minutes later, Sebastian clicked once more, “There, done.”

“Finally,” Jim exclaimed, peering over Sebastian’s shoulders and reaching out to take the mouse, “Now hurry up and get to the common room.”

He began walking Sebastian through the game, quickly reaching the common room. He paused.

“What? This looks like a bloody hobbit hole, why the fuck are we in the Hufflepuff common room?”

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow.

“Because I got sorted into Hufflepuff, I just assumed Slytherin was for the boffins and Hufflepuff is where all of us badass people go,” he replied.

He didn’t understand until two days later why Jim stormed out, slamming the door behind him. He quickly deleted his Pottermore account, and the consulting criminal hid the Harry Potter books from their bookshelves. When Sebastian asked why, Jim replied that he was ashamed for his sniper.

Sebastian was just glad that he wouldn’t have to play anymore of Jim’s strange online games.

—-

((sorry for being inactive so long! Thanks for my followers who didn’t abandon me, I love you all))

Otherwise I’m scared that I won’t have enough time to fill them all

cheshiresden:

I knew something was different this morning when I walked into the kitchen.

Jim was already sitting at the kitchen counter, sipping from a mug, texting on his phone. I said ‘Good Morning’ to him and he answered me in gibberish.

I tried again, thinking he didn’t hear me the first time but the response is the same.

So I reached over and touched his forehead to check if he’s feverish (After all he wouldn’t start talking in tongues- he’s on the wrong side for that).

Jim’s forehead is cool and he slaps my hand away and calls me a moron. Obviously he spoke in Japanese. I dread to find out the reason why.

Read More

Sebastian glanced around, feeling oddly subconscious as Jim practically dragged him through the shop. He couldn’t remember the name of it, but judging by the ridiculously abstract displays and the even more ridiculous price tags he was guessing that it was someplace fancy and designer. He shouldn’t really have expected anything less from Jim, although he’d never actually been clothes shopping with him before. He assumed that Jim went clothes shopping often enough to get new suits when he wanted, and every now and then a suit would turn up in Sebastian’s wardrobe and he’d just ignore it until Jim actually forced him to put it on.

That morning, however, Jim had decided that his new disguise was important enough that it needed a second opinion on it. Specifically, as Sebastian had only learned as they entered the store, on the underwear.

“How about these?” Jim asked, tugging on Sebastian’s wrist to get his attention. Sebastian turned to face him.

“I think those are meant for women,” he replied flatly.

“Yes, but I think they’d rather get the ‘gay’ point across to Mr Holmes,” Jim chuckled darkly. Sebastian tried not to imagine Jim walking around London with lacy underwear barely hidden by a pair of jeans, and forced himself not to ask Jim to buy them for later.

“Can’t argue with that, sir,” he replied, stuttering slightly and breathing a sigh of relief when Jim put the underwear down, because he really couldn’t handle the mental images this early on in their little shopping trip.

Leaving the store, he managed to talk Jim out of going into Ann Summers - even though he insisted it was ‘just to look’ - and they ended up in another expensive-looking shop. Sebastian decided that the underwear - at least - looked less feminine.

After another thirty minutes of browsing, Jim shooed him away as he went to pay. Sebastian tried not to sound excited when Jim told him he was going to have the sniper ‘test run’ the underwear he’d picked.

—-

((Hope you liked it, feel free to send prompts, headcannon questions and general spam my way))